Get and Give back . Good as well as Bad. Have I reached a point in my life when hi-bye friends are no longer over-rated (or given their true due) by me? The passions have reduced, the possessiveness has gone, the feeling of the need to maintain (read as compromise for) "friends" who were really not loved has just vanished.
In school, friendships form naturally, without any selfishness, full of innocence, without even knowing what a friend means. We give and take easily, no complications, no expectations. We grow up with our bestest friends, forming bonds that will stand the tides of time. Middle school, high school we still just yet might be lucky enough to be sensible enough. We might meet unsavory friends in between. We may learn how to take care of situations like that or we may not.
Then comes college. Freedom and new friends. Groups are formed, new relationships are forged. We begin to understand what we expect from friends. Just the expectation makes it something slightly different from true golden friendship. Call this silver if you want. We hang out with each other to hang out, for fun, for great times, "together". The innate human nature for companionship kicks in. We look for people like us, we no longer make friends out of the blue, like when we were kids.
How many of our childhood friends are like us? Aren't we all totally different now yet love each other? But if we had met the same people when we were in college would we have ended up like that? It is human nature to change. Change our opinions, tolerances, understanding. More than anything, its laziness and necessity. Two things that really aren't separate. The more number of people we meet, the more friends we make, the more easily do we lose some other friends. When we have someone else to have fun with, we no longer see the necessity and the work need to maintain someone else a little less fun and maybe a little irritating.
The red thread wants us to meet so many people, talk with so many of them and end up as their friends, weather we match or not. Well there's the mistake. It becomes so important as we grow up and meet so so many people to choose and choose wisely whom we want to have as friends. Its no longer kindergarten when just about anyone has a chance of being your best friend. We are no longer Kuvempu's aniketana's, we are now people with our own opinions, tolerance limits, tastes and priorities. There is no longer time for everyone. There is no longer us ready to adjust, change a bit of us to accommodate a new acquaintance into our closer circle. We can no longer compromise but want only people specifically suited for us, our time and our tastes.
The best part is despite all the complications in making new friends, the true old friends remain the same way. We can talk anytime, we still find time for each other, we still listen to each others crazy stories and still are the bestest of friends. That must be the whole point of keeping some people at a distance, since there can be no way to maintain so many friends, unfortunately, we have to lose some.
